In Need of Cereal

Marshmallow-Fruity-Pebbles-1024x1024Recently I learned that the Worthington Family Resource Center was in need of cereal donations.  The resource center serves as our local food pantry and significantly impacts students in Worthington Schools.

When I learned that cereal was needed I immediately reached out to our Director of Certified Personnel Jeff Maddox.  Jeff is a cereal connoisseur and has spent more time evaluating cereal’s than anyone I’ve ever met.  Before my family went shopping for cereal for the pantry I asked Jeff what kind of cereal we should purchase.  Here’s what he said….

“Cereal makes me happy.  Always has.  Some of my fondest childhood memories involve a good bowl of cereal.  Over the years, it is quite possible that I have sampled every cereal in existence.  I think of myself as somewhat of a cereal connoisseur, a savant of cereal, if you will.

My love of cereal has become somewhat of a joke amongst my friends and family.  They cannot understand why a 46 year-old man has so much to say on the topic.  But rest assured, I am the first person they call when they have a cereal conundrum and need to know what the best base cereal is, or what they can mix with their Rice Krispies to create a fun-filled breakfast bowl!

Cereal is the all time conversation starter!  The next time you are introduced to someone new and are struggling to make conversation, simply ask them, “What is your favorite cereal?” This is guaranteed to generate a lively discussion, especially if you reference my cereal rubrics!

Base Cereals

Flavor Saturation Milk-Drinkability Bowl Beautification Prize Back of Box Fun Pallet (cuts the mouth)
Quisp 3 4 4 2 4 4 5
Frosted Flakes 3 2 5 2 3 3 5
Waffle-Os 3 5 5 2 4 4 0
Cap’N Crunch 3 5 4 2 4 5 0
Life 3 2 3 2 4 4 5
Honey Combs 3 3 3 2 2 2 1
Corn Flakes 2 2 2 2 1 2 5
Wheaties 2 2 1 2 1 2 5
Cheerios 2 2 1 2 1 1 4
Rice Krispies 2 0 1 2 2 1 5

0 = worst, 5 = best

Base cereals are those that are pleasing to eat alone, and generally better for your health (when no additives are placed in the bowl), but are best when mixed with a Party-in your mouth cereal.

Party-In-Your-Mouth Cereals

Flavor Saturation Milk-Drinkability Bowl Beautification Prize Back of Box Fun Pallet (cuts the mouth)
Fruity Pebbles 5 3 5 5 5 5 5


5 5 5 2 3 3 3
Lucky Charms 5 3 5 5 3 3 3
Smurfberry Crunch 5 5 3 5 5 3 2
Peanut Butter Cap’N Crunch 4 5 4 2 3 3 1
Count Chocula, Frakenberry, Booberry 5 2 4 4 2 3 4


4 4 3 3 2 2 2
Honey Smacks 3 2 2 2 4 3 4
Crunch Berries 4 4 2 5 2 3 1
Cinnamon Toast Crunch 3 3 2 2 2 2 4

0 = worst, 5 = best

Party-In-Your-Mouth cereals (also known as the cereals moms won’t buy their children) are those that are pleasing to the eye and a sheer pleasure to eat.  From the first bite, your taste buds engage and continue to beg for more until the last drop of milk has been licked from the bowl!

When discussing cereals with your new acquaintance, you may find they, and you, have some strong opinions about cereals.  You both may even disagree with my rubrics!  Hopefully what you will agree on is that cereal is a delicious way to start the day, no matter what your cereal choice is, and that you will both donate cereal to the food pantry to help bring a smile and a full belly to as many people as possible this holiday season.  

You may be thinking you should buy a bunch of base cereals to stock the food pantry shelves with because they’re the healthy choice and you’re making a donation to the food pantry, so you should make healthy donations.  I, on the other hand, will be stocking the shelves full of Fruity Pebbles, the world’s number one cereal, so that everyone who receives items from the food pantry has the opportunity to enhance their holiday with a party their mouth.  

I hope you will join me and my friends in the Worthington Community as we fill the food pantry shelves with a variety of Base and Party-In-Your-Mouth cereals and wish everyone in our community happy holidays!”

Jeff said it well.  Please consider donating cereal to the food pantry.  You can access their donations page here.


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